Friday, March 30, 2012

Home

There's a few things I never mentioned, it didn't seem important at the time, but it's worth noting...

My home town, is a Wacky Bavarian themed village called Levenworth Wa,  where my father lives with my kid sister, who's about 14... Samuel and Kacie....

I'm bringing this up because after what... what I almost did to Maya, that I needed to, well frankly run away from it all and go somewhere relaxing, and comfortable, I took a few days of vacation time, and I went home to see them. besides the good thing about growing up in a tourist trap, is I can disappear in it.

I took the tablet so I was still able to follow up and read everyone's blogs, but I ignored my own.

While I was there, I had a sit down talk with Dad, while he was working his restaurant up there, we had lunch with Kay and just talked....

He could tell I was sleeping like shit, and called me on it. I dodged what was going on with the Proxies and asked a few questions, he's the basics of the conversation.

"Hey dad, you remember Maya right?"  I asked in between fries

"Yeah I remember her, the young thing you started dating.. what 4 years ago?"

Yes I did the math, I was 26 and she was... 19... which is in of itself creepy.

"Yeah it was actually" I had no idea.

"So um... Dad... Did I ever talk about children with you?"

My dad stopped and gave me a worried look? "You didn't knock her up did you?"

"NO.. No... no... Nothing like that, I was just wondering if I mentioned anything like that"

Kay was snickering at me while playing with her PSP...

"Well then why in the hell are you asking me about it?" Dad asked.

"I don't know dad, after mom and all I know I've been scarred about having a kid myself, because of..." I stop my self there, my sis had to go through some early life grief counseling because my mother had died during childbirth with her.

"I think your just worried about losing Maya, or are your worried about committing to her? You don't shut up about her, why are you worried about this with her?"

So I'm happy with her then? Could Hoody have got to my family as welll?

"I'm thinking about it Dad, she really is an amazing woman" I smile and say, I'm sure if I didn't have a missing family that I would be quite taken in by her.

That was the conversation, I spent the night with them, Helped my Dad with some of the cleaning around the house, spent some time playing Angry Birds with my sister on the tablet, it's okay I took down the Operator background down from it, and ended up coming home tonight.

I feel refreshed, honestly, just a little time away from it all really steeled my resolve. I feel, Calm.. Like the world makes a little sense, getting an outside perspective from someone I would confide in about Maya helped.

Of course if this all Proxy brainwashing, then who the fuck knows, that's what Ryan would say right?

Now that I'm back in Tacoma, Maya, who was trying to reach Hoody, or "Antonio" texted me to let me know she's had no luck, the guy's laying low... of course do I believe that?

What do I believe? Do I believe my memories? in the face of a whole world telling me there wrong? Do I believe my dad? Who might be just as brainwashed as everyone else? How about Ryan? who's out there building an army to "retake the city?"

I don't trust Maya, I don't remember her well enough to trust, and Ryan...  he's pulling an "Alex" on me right now, so fuck all knows what's going on with him.

So let me get the responds from the last posts comments done....

Manic, I didn't get up in arms about the insulation about my family not existing, was, well your normally are spot on with your theories, I've known my family for a hell of a lot longer than I've known about the slenderman, they have to be real on those grounds alone.

Lucia, I know I said this once, but yeah I'm keeping as calm head on my shoulders now, I don't have a choice. If I lose it again, I might do something regretful and I want to leave this mess able to look myself in the mirror.

Ryan, play it cool man, I don't need the entire Tacoma PD knocking on my door because you got a mob together and lynched someone who might of been innocent, yes I know he's a proxy, but so what? If your reading other blogs, then you know not all of them are bad.

Now the next question on my mind, do I let Maya know about the blog? If Hoody, knows about the blog, does that mean she does as well?

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Monster

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Okay lets get this fucking over with....

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So Maya had just had me sit back down.. I'm still bleeding... and I just tried to murder her....

Let me make myself clear, Hoody, deserved what happened to him, the fucking bastard wrecked my life, and god knows how many others before, he's a blatant proxy's displaying  powerful slender-skills, and yeah...

Maya hasn't done shit against me, except be a "friend" of Hoody... and I almost killed her for that...

She came back into the room from the bathroom with some more Gauss and some rubbing Alcohol... She looks at me slightly shaking like I'm going to strike at her again...

That just makes me feel worse....

"You don't have to help me anymore.... you already know that I'm on to the two of you" I say with a bit of bile...

Maya just sits down "Paul... I don't know what the hell your talking about, just sit down and shut up so I can get the bleeding to stop."

I didn't deserve this...... We sat silent while she worked on Re-wrapping my head, the rubbing alcohol burned like a son of  a bitch...

"How do you know him...." I asked while she worked.

"How do you not Paul.... I can understand forgetting little things, but I don't understand how you forgot about Antonio"

So that's the Proxy's real name... "There's allot of things I don't know"

"I can see that... Paul.... when did the memory loss start?"

I look at her "My memory is fine thank you, it's the rest of the god damn world that's wrong!"

With sad eyes she asks a question that I didn't want to answer "Do you remember me at all?"

I look at the table, at my wrecked hand... "No.... I remember.... something else... I'm not ready to tell you what I do remember."

She stands up and walks to the fridge, there's a blankness in her face I can't quite place, she grabs a couple beers for us, I get the impression she's going to push for details.

She sits back down, not looking me in the eyes... "I figured as much to be honest, when you bought the fake story about our tattoo's"

I struggle to pop the top off my beer, she had to pop it for me.

I look at her... "What's the real story?...."

She looks at me... she struggles with the question, I'm getting answers, but to all the wrong questions.

"This is not the first time one of us lost our memory Paul, Antonio is... Well he is what you called a 'Proxy'... But he used to be... with me... before I met you."

I hide my shock at this... shit I knew she knows allot about Him, but to hear her speak openly of it is... dubious.

"He was kidnapped... years ago... were were still kids... I didn't see him till about 8 months ago, he was different, he was traumatized, he had... He had strange abilities.... you helped me Paul, helped me pull him back together, you might not know this, but he has the same tattoo as us"

"Maya he might have killed people... I mean my-"

I cut myself off, She wouldn't remember my family, she wouldn't remember my friends... how could she, the rest of the world doesn't....

At this point she gets up walks over to me, I'm still sitting..... my guard is down, I'm so very tired at this point. I can faintly see the marks of my fingers on her neck still...

"I don't know what you remember Paul, what they made you remember instead of Antonio and I, but were real god dammit!"

On that note... She slaps me... Hard... I deserved it....
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Then she hugs me.... Crying.... I hug her back, the bastard that I am, still comforting her....
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Maya will be her in a few moments, she doesn't know about the blog, I plan on keeping it that way... I'm not sure what's real anymore... There's no way my family was fake...  but Maya is real, and were on the same side now....

I tried to kill her, might have killed Hoody/Antonio....  But if she's right, someone else is pulling the strings here... and we plan on finding out who....




Hallowed

Shit I can't believe I'm actually going to post this shit... well I made a promise...

Manic has been kidnapped, Ryan shot my an email, and...

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And I came damn close to murdering Maya last night...

If anyone read last nights post (funny how my only victory so far got like.. no god damn comments) then you already knew I was waiting for her.. I must of been a hell of a sight, splattered in my own blood, and some of Hoody's,  wearing bandages on my head and hands. Wearing an unfamiliar face to hear...

A face contorted by hate...

She dropped her purse and started right for me, I didn't realize it at the time, but she was genuinely concerned, she had no idea that I just kicked the shit out of her partner...

She got half way to me, when I got up and met her half way....

I had this.. well mental image last night of how it would go down, I'd be all smug and throw down something manly like "So I just beat the shit out of your partner, your move"

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Didn't play out like that... I got up, dashed at her, probably still was hoped up on adrenaline, got her by the throat and shoved her into a wall...

I got easily a foot on her, and I weigh about 100lbs more than her, she couldn't fight back... yeah this is the part I'm not pleased with my self for...

The first thing I screamed at her is pretty simple... "I just beat the shit out of your proxy friend, and your going to give me some FUCKING ANSWERS!!"

I think it scared the shit out of her, she could form a coherent sentence, just stammering like "Paul... what... I... What?"

She wasn't crying, she was took scared shitless to cry, scared of me...

Christ did I really do this, I mean this isn't me, I don't hurt women, I know better, at what point yesterday, hell in the last several days, did I stop seeing her as a person, and more as a puppet..

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I screamed "YOU KNOW GOD DAMN WELL WHAT THE FUCK I WANT TO KNOW!"

"Paul.. I don't know what your talking about!" She had replied in a genuine tone...

I pulled back, and slammed her back into the wall, the rage, the anger I had pent up, I was doing this all with one arm, my right arm was still a bandaged and to sore to use at that point. God, I really kept this pent up....

"DON'T FUCKING LIE!" I screamed. "I Saw you with the fucking proxy when we stopped for food, I saw you with the fucker! The same bastard who attacked me before! YOU FUCKING KNOW HIM!"

For some reason... I held back from outright asking what I wanted to know, "Where is my family"

I didn't realize it at this point, but I think I was crying.... my hand was shaking... I wanted answers, I wanted them back.... And I had the key to getting them back, by the throat....

The realization that I was about to kill her snapped me back, my grip loosened... she gasped for air... god damn it, I was strangling her.... I just stood there, all the strength leaving my limb...

But the illusion was broken, we both knew now that things were not right with us. Not right with me....

To her credit, she didn't run, didn't strike back, didn't even cry.... The moved my arm....just looked at me and said simply...

"You did a pretty bad job at bandaging this up Paul" touching the area over my eye, where I was still slowly bleeding.. "Go sit down, I'll get the Gauss, then we can talk...."

Part two will come later on today... My hand hurts, I need a break...

Monday, March 26, 2012

Bloody


So I had a hell of a day, sorry I don't want to type a long post out, I'm typing this all one handed as I think I had to bandage up my hands tonight, but my left hand hurts worse....

So lets cut to the chase then, last night.... well it went pretty well considering I was *not* sleeping next to, at best case scenario, the ally of my local proxy. I had just quietly slipped my gun into a gap between the bed and the nightstand, when I heard her whisper "You won't need it, I'll protect you" in a half tired voice before wrapping her arms around me and going back to sleep....

See it's that type of shit, that raises doubts... if I could trust her... That would have been fantastically romantic...


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Sorry I was just getting some pain medicine and I just finished gaussing up a small cut over my eye I didn't notice before.. till it got in my eye, that shit hurts.....
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So why am I in such a great mood? Because I kicked kicked slenderloving shit out of hoody in a fight...

I had just got home, and he was waiting for me, said he wanted to talk to me again, and I did this time what I should have done the last time....

I walked right up to him and clocked him in the face with a "Novelty paperweight" that just happens to look like some brass knuckles... I even let out a overly upbeat "Surprise BITCH!" when I clocked him with it.

Yeah he countered that one quick, using his slender-skills to punch me back about 6 feet, but I parried it so I wasn't laid out like the last time....

I lost grip on my brass knuckles so the fight was in favor at this point, but I remembered something that I had forgot the last time we fought...

I knew Akido...

For the uninitiated, Akido focus's on the philosophy of defensive fighting, making them waste there energy attacking, and turning there own force against him, he threw a  punch, I used the force of his punch to shoulder flip him and kick him in the back to throw his balance off.

Akido does not teach you how to counter teleportation, or kinetic attacks. but I held my own, left him bloodied pretty bad, till he tossed me hard enough that I landed near my car, a good ten feet... then I played my ace card.

I popped the trunk and broke out my Bokken, want to know something funny, Sure I believe in alien's, ghosts, and Slenderman, but I never bought into the mystical shit, not even when I had a native American charm affixed to my bokken, that helped...

Hoody didn't see it coming when I "blocked" one of Kinetic attacks with my bokken and countered with a diagonal swing down on his head that would make a master proud... I connected, there was blood splattering...

Hoody dissolved into smoke and was gone... but the blood on my bokken was still there... as well as the blood on the ground, and the bruises on my body.

So I finally got one for the win column, It's not decisive, or even long term, but I let him know, let all the proxies out there know one single thing...

I *will* not be fucked with any longer.

In about ten minutes, Maya will be here, I'm going to see if I can't go 2 for 2 against proxies tonight, even if this fight is going to be with words.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Maya and Hoody


So as I commented on my own post earlier, I took Maya out into the mountians for a day hike...we both needed it after what happened a few days ago, Maya, at least on the surface, was showing some serious signs of Trauma from the murders....

My only thought of it was "Is anyone going to remember them in a week?"

The police interviewed us, to see if we had heard anything at all, clearly we had not, I mean a family of three doesn't get.... Butchered... Just across the hall without you hearing something.... the whole thing wasn't natural.

Gods I almost came clean to her about the whole god damn thing, my family, slenderman, Ryan, Hoody, the whole god damn thing... But if she's not a proxy, and i'm now questioning that more than ever... then it would have been to much for her...

I mean shit, I got the third degree over a few things lately "Why are you hiding weapons in your apartment?", "When did you get a gun?" and my favorite "Why are you always looking around like your keeping an eye out for someone?"

This is of course why I needed to go for a long, relaxing nature hike today.... put as Elaine would put it all this "Slendershit" out of my damn head for a day to decompress.

It didn't work....

While I was on the way back, we stopped at a mom and pop dinner half way between Rainer and Tacoma, I forgot the name of the place already... the day was still clear at that point so we were going to eat outside... I was just getting back from a bathroom trip and picking up our order, when I noticed something.... frankly disturbing on my way out....

Hoody.... and Maya.... talking near my car...

Okay just the simple fact that Hoody had  traveled all the way out, a good 45 minutes outside of Tacoma to talk to Maya, well that was disturbing enough, but this just proved what Ryan said correct... Maya and Hoody are definitely working together, two pea's in the proxy pod!

Rather than walk out there and call them on this right away, I mean I was unarmed, I didn't even have a box-cutter on me, let alone the type of gear needed to fight Hoody and expect to win, and lord knows what kind of skills Maya is packing there... No I stayed out of sight until hoody hopped on a motorcycle and rode off...

At least I know he doesn't just fucking teleport everywhere...

I counted to about 43 and stepped back out, lunch in hand a with a smile on my face, we sat down and ate...

She didn't bring the conversation up at all, not even in the "Oh a friend of my was in the area you just missed him" sort of way...

She's sleeping in my room right now... I plan on stashing the gun in my nightstand but i'm waiting till I know she's out cold... she could have killed the neighbors for all I know at this point...

I know allot of you are saying that not all proxy's are bad, but hoody and I don't see eye to eye, and Maya is working with him... the worst part of it is, was before this I was really starting to like having her around...

I won't be taken flat-footed... I promise you all that.







Thursday, March 22, 2012

So much blood.....

I'm going to make this brief, I'm trying to care Maya while I type this on my phone....

The people across the hall are dead, I don't know how.. but there was blood.... leaking.... out of the door into the hall, we can't actually leave the apartment due all of it...

I heard reference to "trash bags"... Maya is fitfully passed out on my shoulder... and I have my gun loaded in my other hand...

It's going to be a long night.

Wide awake!

Okay I told Manic I would ask about this, but I had no idea how to broach the subject...

"What's the story with our tattoo's"

Now Operator symbols could go one way or another, they could either serve as wards, like an eye on the back of your, in our case, neck, or it could mean anything really....

Maya, was of course, confused why I was asking, like it was a pretty serious offense. I hand waived it away as my memory being seven shades of fucked up ... Actually that's the gods honest truth.

Apparently we both got them a year or so ago, she admits to be fuzzy on the significance of the tattoo's  but.... Well apparently Maya was attacked a year and some months ago, she was beaten pretty bad, and someone thought it would be cute to slice an X in her neck... looking at the tattoo on her neck I can almost see the scar the tattoo covers up...

So well yeah, according to her, that's why she has the tattoo, seems innocent enough right? Apparently I got the tattoo afterwards as some kind of romantic sign of solidarity, getting ink'd together or something...

It doesn't hold water, I've always been against getting tattoo's. Also what the tattoo represents? Hell at best case scenario it means that we "just happened" to get Operator symbol's inked onto ourselves willingly, and that she was cut up by a proxy at some point, worst case scenario, she's lying to me about the reason's.....

Of course she was pissed at me for even bringing this up, I had to think fast I rattled off a line about "I just wanted to make sure I never forgot why" and then gave her a hug.

On a slightly lighter note, this is how I started my morning, I had apparently failed to set my alarm clock, so I started my day with a hand on my back and a whisper in my hear telling me to get up, which woke me up... Screaming.... Like a little girl.....

At least I know now that she has a key to my apartment....

Sunday, March 18, 2012

I my organs were not harvested and put in trash bags.

Just wanted to get that out of the way before I go any further....

So before I get into how the last couple days went, I want to address a few things about a couple of the other blogs I keep abreast on....

Manic Muse has been a good friend and a source of advise, lately another has been running the blog however, and based on his last post, he might be regaining control, at least for now, lets all hope he stays strong, we don't need to lose anyone else.

Gargoyle on the other hand, is just crazy awesome, I don't know about you, but I actually laughed.. I mean downright belly laughed for the first time in weeks at his "Pony experiments". Just the mere idea of the goddamn Slenderman being a "Bronie" is just got damn hilarious to me, and really cuts into the lurking dread I have of him.

Then there's Elaine, she hasn't posted anything in a while, but perspective, what with my entire personal reality being wiped clean and being replaced with something alien to me, yet completely understandable... well I can kinda see where a couple blog posts ago, how I kinda overreacted to the flow of her blog, yes she made.... To put this nicely... Questionable choices in allegiances, that got people killed. But... she didn't do it intentionally...

That being said, I don't trust her, I don't have reason to trust proxies in general, not that I'm saying she's a proxy, and she, last time I checked. still associated with the man that in her own words on one comment, "Broke the agreement" they had over Hope. At best is seems dangerously naive, but at worst, it could be seen as collusion with they very servants of the thing that would see her killed.

I understand the underlying message she's trying to get across, Proxies, are in fact human too, That's great, American and British soldiers during the Second World War understood the Germans were people too, but when other people are activity serving something trying to kill, manipulate, mislead, or our right destroy you, seeing them as people is only going to get in the way of you having to defend yourself....

This is why when I had my dealing with Hoody a few days ago, of which I didn't touch on much through the rage, I did so at weapon point. It's understandable if you think about it.

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Which reminds me, yeah I should explain that chat with hoody.. Lets see now.... Right March 13th... Hoody was outside of the building.... I went out there to kick his ass, and well.... He stopped me, and said, that he had a warning for me, I was of course pissed, ready to have at it with him, tear him down... but he just wanted to talk.... I forced myself to listen... Information is power right now, and I was definitely lacking in information....

"Paul I just came to warn you, change is coming, a larger change than you could ever understand now, but you will when it happens, you have to adapt to the change, or you will be destroyed by it"

I reacted harshly to this... saying "Fuck you proxy, if you really give a shit about me, then you'll give my family back, I haven't forgotten that you, or at least what you serve took them from me to begin with. You also  invaded my life, drove friends away, and fucking murdered several good friends of mine!"

His only response, well before mind tricking me for just long enough to get away, was to say "Those deaths were not mine, the other did it...."

That wasn't some cryptic bullshit that most Proxies perform on people to get them off there game, he flat out stated there was a second proxy.... and Ryan stated that a certain blonde girl, who is likely Maya, Likely is that second Proxy....

And whatever reality warp that had occurred, placed me in a committed relationship, which of course I don't fucking remember, with her.....

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Okay so about Maya, I commented as an afterthought that a couple nights ago, I had been "Reminded" of a date with her... I gathered some information about her while on said "date", I gathered in this altered reality that I had met her about two months later than I remember meeting my wife, at the same diner, that I had met my wife for the first time, I wasn't big on home cooked meals then... So in this altered reality, I didn't meet my wife, because she didn't exist, god I can't wrap my head around that still, instead I figured I went home alone that night, probably early, but kept going there, no shocker, and met Maya. She was apparently working there at the time, as a new waitress, trying to pay her way to whatever music shows she wanted to see at the time, not a care in the world...

Apparently that's what had cause me to become attracted to her. I seriously don't remember any of this keep this in mind, it feels weird to write about myself like a fiction author. I remember at the time I was struggling to make ends meet, I was supporting two jobs to maintain an apartment, I didn't have the Medical billing Job I have now, so I was struggling badly to keep my head above water, while this young woman, 8 years younger than me, was working to be able to do what she thought was fun, working for her fun.

By the way, allot of this is elaboration, talking to Maya on the date a couple nights ago, and actually slipping questions to friends of mine, who also, remember things as they are now... God, they really covered all there basis.

Okay so... sorry I'm kinda all over the place here,  but a bit of back story was needed here. So the date,  went oddly well, just dinner, I guess were talking about moving in together in this timeline... which, if she really is the one who killed those coworkers of mine, then well, that might be a terrible idea. God help me though, if she is the second proxy than she's a damn convincing one, she acted in such a casual and affectionate way, that it actually made me drop my guard with her.

When she asked if I was alright, despite my best efforts I must of been acting odd to her, I didn't get the impression that she was probing me for information, I got the impression that she asked out of a genuine concern for my well being. For the record we didn't "Do" anything, god that would have been holy shit difficult for me right now, after dinner was basically my place for a couple movies and beers.

So I'm adapting, I need answers, right now I live in a world I don't remember, dating a 22 year old, who I don't remember, who also may be directly responsible for killing a bare minimum of 7 other people, who she may or may not remember....

Also that tattoo on my neck, the Operator sign, the one that matches her's, I remember the implication, I've been likely marked by a proxy... but she has the same tattoo.... she may be marked as well.... Or she's the one who marked me.

To many questions, not enough answers....

Friday, March 16, 2012

Changing pt 2

Okay so I'm now sober... well hungover... and allot calmer.

I didn't react well to what I learned yesterday... I apologize for dumping on the blog my grief... I try to avoid it really...

But yesterday just hit all at once, all the bottled up pain I've been stewing in the last week since my wife disappeared... all the rage that I had stored since this all started.....

There has been more changes.... I logged on to Facebook to see that all my family pictures are gone... my cellphone no longer has contact numbers from several people that I knew through my wife....

Apparently the change had affected other people... there's.... well apparently I'm dating someone...

Seriously that's not even kinda awkward... but I'm looking at pictures of the person on my Facebook right now... Some are replacing my wife and son in certain events of the last couple years... Some portray events I don't remember...she's, well according to Facebook, about 22, maybe, god I want to say about a head and a half shorter than me, blonde hair I wants to say.... Name... Maya.....

Okay hoody told me to adapt or die... so how the hell do I adapt to this one?

There's one more thing.... On some of the more recent pictures... she has an operator sign tattooed on her neck.... Just like the second proxy Ryan warned me about....

Also.... Now I have the same tattoo.......

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Changing.....

Okay, let me start off this post with a short message to Elaine.....

Thank you for writing in, your concerns are appreciated and will be addressed when the time is right, or never depending on exactly how long I have left to live... Because honestly, I have some serious fucking bullshit to deal with right now, and I'm pretty fucking sure I have long since lost my god damn mind!!!

So remember how I said I was going to give the old in-laws a call to see if they had heard anything back about my wife's disappearance...

So apparently, as far as there concerned... my wife and son never existed..... I mean holy fucking shit, I was not married for 4 years and raised a son for 3 to have them never exist, no sir, didn't happen, and that's pretty fucking bullshit right now!

I mean to listen to my, well apparently never, father in law explain that he has no idea who the fuck I am, that we never met, and he only had son's no daughters, and I clearly had the wrong fucking number... WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

HOW... THE.... FUCK.... IS..... THIS..... POSSIBLE......

So yeah, right now I'm drinking, and very much am GOING OUT OF MY FUCKING SKULL.... Because this shit is not happening... no sir, it's impossible, THEY WERE FUCKING REAL!!!!!!!!

I know they were fucking real, this is god damn impossible, they were real, I'm not fucking insane, they were real.....


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But the worst part of it is... he warned me..., Hoody.... Last time I saw him outside my window... he just wanted to talk to me... he told me "That my world would forever change, and I could adapt to the change, or be destroyed by it"

BUT THIS IS A PRETTY FUCKING MAJOR CHANGE YOU DUMB PROXY FUCK... THIS IS NOT A FUCKING CHANGE, THIS IS REALITY IT-FUCKING-SELF BEING REWRITTEN!!!

 This is god damn impossible.... It's just fucking impossible.... THEY WERE FUCKING REAL!!!! I could feel there hugs, I could hear my son laugh and ask for drinks and say "Thank you" when we gave him something, I can see them in my mind right now, my son chasing the cat, my wife making breakfast... THEY WERE FUCKING REAL!!!!!!

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He took them from me.... That tall faceless fuck... I'll kill him, I will FUCKING KILL HIM..... I'll find a god damn way to kill him..... You read this, you absorb it... BECAUSE HE WILL FUCKING DIE BY MY HAND!!!!!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Breakdown....

Things are pretty fucked on my end, I've found myself, after work today, just sitting, alone in the apartment, staring at the walls....

I've been this way for hours.....

If I had to peg it down to one thing, I'd say it was my coworkers....

All the dead coworkers have been replaced already, it's like the people they replaced were never murdered, even the police seem to not care anymore, they haven't been by the building to gather testimony, or talk to some of our other coworkers... Hell the police haven't even questioned me again about the my familie's disappearance since... Well a few days back, I plan on calling my in-laws this week to see if they have heard anything about it.

It's snowing... It almost never knows in March here, probably won't stick to the ground, but it's not like I need to be anywhere in the morning, how can I be so calm right now? I learned via a cryptic comment that there may be a second proxy in the area. Assuming it was Ryan who left the comment....

So I'm left alone, isolated, ripe for the slaughter... all they need to do is knock on the door,  I have no comrades here, even Nick is gone, suddenly deployed out of state... no reason given,

No runners....

No friends.....

No help.....

No god damn hope...

I have to press forward, I have to live to see them again... My wife.... My son.... I have to live to see them again....

I'll sleep with the bokken, in two days I'll pick up the gun, in a week.... I might still be here...

If they come, they will not find me wanting... I *Must* live... to see my family again....

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Getting ready

So I spent some time, you guessed it, "Getting ready" as it were for anything, I was sitting on a rather large amount of cash from saving up to this point, so I made a shopping trip for if I ever had to hit the road...

I got a few things...

A new backpack, my old one was wearing out and if I'm traveling I'd want some extra caring capacity.

A Motorola Xoom 4g LTE tablet (Verizon) Specd for a prepay plan, it weighs about half of what a laptop computer does, and can be parred with a Bluetooth keyboard, like say the one I'm using now, so I could blog from the road, the Verizon service is a plus, because of coverage area, if it's good enough for Sasquatch hunter's it's good enough for me.

An Otterbox case for my smart phone,  because lets face facts, I have a hard time not dropping my phone around my own apartment, and the last thing I'm going to want is to settle down for a week for an insurance replacement phone is sent to me, assuming the company is willing to send one out to the wrong state without flagging my account as a potential fraud case.

And I bought a Gun, well I should say I will have one in a few days, this is the part that's out of my comfort zone, I've gone shooting quite a few times with nick, and I got a good, practiced aim, as a result, but I knew next to nothing about firearms, I originally went in looking for a large caliber penis extension like a .357 or a Desert Eagle .50, but a quick text from nick shot that down (pun intended) for two real reasons.

Well for starters, I don't got the god damn wrist strength for a hand cannon it turns out, and those gun's unless you practice, and I mean practice constantly, are going to kick your ass around, the one I ordered however is a nice 9mm, because lets face facts, despite my last, anger driven post,  even a .22 if shot well will kill a person, but 9mm rounds tend to be cheep not to mention common, so that's a plus.

I never would have done this if my son was still here....

Anyways the second part, I had set up a sorta last minute appointment that day as well with a, I guess for the lack of knowing the proper term, a "Shaman" from one of the local Native American tribes in my area, I don't know what I was going to attempt here, but we sat and talked at length, in his rec room, for the record, he was wearing blue jeans and a polo shirt, perceptions were ruined by this. I guess I shouldn't of been expecting face paint and a cowhide teepee but, hey, ignorance is no excuse.

He told me a few important things about my self. The biggest being, that an "Evil spirit" surrounds me, and was making him uncomfortable. and that I was in danger.

I didn't think much of it, but he insisted on giving me a "Fetish", No you pervs get your head out of the gutter, roughly speaking, it's supposed to be a combination of a ward against evil" and a token of strength, apparently it's made up of crow feathers, bear claws, and various ornamental beads in for good measure, tied together with a dark leather strap, he even helped me affix it to my bokken, which was still in the back of my card, he told me that it would repel evil...

I'm not the type for it, but I admit, I feel pretty comfy right now in bed typing this up on my new tablet, I do feel a bit more at ease looking at the simple looking charm attached to my bokken...

Well it's a bit after 3am here, time for some sleep...

Friday, March 9, 2012

I lost time today....

Yeah that's not a promising sign, right after I saw Hoody outside today, I went downstairs bokken in hand to try and beat the answers to it all out of him, he just stood there hands in his pockets as I woke up and suddenly... The whole world goes black and white, for like a minute...

The next thing I know it's about 7pm my time, I'm on a break at my work reading on my phone....

I guess I wasn't acting weird or anything like that, it's like, when I think about it, and I mean hard, it's like I'm standing there, I change my mind, walk away from him, toss my bokken in the back, and just decided to drive to work....

By the way, Ryan wasn't there, and he hasn't answered his phone at all today....

Crap I knew I should have stayed in bed today...

Okay now I'm want to rant, it's my god given right as a human being to rant, so I'm going to abuse that right of mine. So here we go......

Elaine is a fucking psychopathic idiotic bitch, and she's going to get us all killed...

Okay not that we threw that out there, lets break this down a little bit....

She's an idiot, because she thinks, that we can make peace with Proxies, which, from my limited experience with one likely killing everyone I care about and the whole "Kidnapping my family thing" Really kinda gives me a unique but common insight that screams... "Your a fucking idiot for this"

Have you people read about "Hope"? How she made a fucking deal with a Proxy" And then because she doesn't know how to use her brain *Broke* that god damn agreement and god about a half dozen runners killed for it?

And why is she not in a fucking halfway house? why was she released to begin with? I don't know about the Texas Mental Health System, but here in Washington killing about 15 people before the age of ten is pretty much an assured way to spent your entire natural life in a mental institution, being kept drugged 24/7. Or if she was to be released, which, once again, is fucking pants on head retarded because SHE KILLED MORE PEOPLE THAN MY LOCAL PROXY, would be in a half way house, constantly monitored, and drugged for about 90% of her waking time....\

I'm going on record right now, I'm following her blog, because if I catch wind she's going to end up anywhere in the Puget Sound area, I'm buying a fucking gun.... A large caliber accurate gun, because I want to make sure that if it comes down to it, if she tires to make contact with me, that I don't fuck it up and "Wound" anyone.

That's right, if you ever end up reading this Elaine, Washington State is off limits, because I have a sharp aim, and a lot of vacation time built up!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Manic.....

That's the name of the one other person, well besides Ryan, that I regularly talk to about this whole fucking mess, and, while yeah, he's pretty god damn nuts, he's given good advice so far....

I should really reach out to others like him, I've left a couple encouraging posts on Bondie's blog, who is the guy that M befriended a few months back, but Manic is out of his damn mind, He's hoping to experiment on the Hallowed, to see if he could free them, or understand them... honestly it's over my head by about a hundred damn miles.....

Well if you were following my Twitter feed, then you know the police now suspect Ryan of being at least partially involved in the murders, and more damning, my family's disappearance... I don't believe it, it's not him really....

Ryan and I met in a public place a few hours ago and talked, It pretty much went like this.

R: "Hey look I know you got allot of shit on your plate, but another coworker was found dead today, that's 7, over half our department is dead now"

P: "Who was it time time."

R: "Paula Winfield......"

P: "Damn....."


We had drinks, sat there awkwardly not knowing what to say... then well, I went and addressed the elephant in the room...

P: "The police think your behind it all"

R: "Yeah I figured, I'm the only one without a clear Alibi at this point"

P: "I don't think there going to accept that some asshole in a hoody at the behest of a 10 foot tall faceless man in a suit killed 7 people, and kidnapped my family"

R: "That doesn't leave me with allot of options then, I'm probably going to have to go into hiding or some shit..."

P: "There's a difference between suspecting, and being charged for it though."

R: "Yeah I know, but... Well shit Paul, I don't have a chance of them not pegging it on me, who the fuck else could if have been in there eyes?! They won't blame you because you had the shit pounded out of you once, and your family is missing."

Ryan is right, he's there only suspect right now, everyone else they suspected has been found dead so far... But one brain worm of a question remained, I had to ask it to get it off my chest, it was the reason for the public meetup rather than at my place....

P: "Ryan... where were you when the shit went down... You never made it over till pretty late that day...."

Ryan didn't give me an answer......


Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Loss....

Okay, so at this point you all know the truth, my wife and son vanished into thin air last night.

No signs of her... The car? missing, hell no one saw it stopped at any point. Traffic cam's are also useless, we see the car pass by one intersection, but the car never passes the next intersection, Between two intersections barely 500 feet apart, my wife, my son, and the car they were in vanishes without a trace

 I would have received some kind of message had she felt like she was at risk.

I didn't get a thing...

Okay so I see what normally happens in this situation, usually there's some kind of cryptic message, some kind of panicked call saying "Oh god something's happening".... Sorry I haven't slept in pushing two days now i'm not feeling creative.

At this point, I feel like a fucking idiot, I mean Jesus Christ, I told her to go to her parents for there safety, I mean it was in the middle of the day, and no one see's a damn thing? No reports about a car fucking vanishing in broad daylight?

I just don't get it.... I don't.... and now I gotta go pass out before I fucking start hallucinating or something.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Death....

Let me start off with this post

Zeke's last video

I maybe have been out of posting lately, but I have been following, all the death that has been happening lately, Sarah from Tribe twelve, Jessie and Alex from Everyman Hybrid.....

Everyone who's been killed on my end.....

What god damn hope is there at this point......

We can't kill it can we? I mean someone would have found a way by now to kill it, and Zeke was one of the best of us... If he couldn't live this, what fucking hope do the rest of us have?

Ryan and nick saw the video as well, and well, we decided it's payback, I'm calling that little hooded fucker out.

That's right you fuck! You want to kill us? then come bring it the fuck on! You know where I live and I swear to god you won't get a better chance at it!!

Bring your tall friend with you, we'll make a party out of it!!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Still Alive

I'm not dead, which is better than I can say for allot of people right now.

Since my last reported incident a few weeks ago I have been silent, due to police involvement.

Not in my attack, but because around 5 of my coworkers have been killed in the last month... there deaths were.... not pretty I'm told, mostly rumor, obviously the police are not going to tell how they died, but I heard two police describe trash bags and how they almost needed to retrieve the remains with a mop and bucket in one case.

I haven't seen hoody lately, it makes me wonder if he's killing my coworkers left and right...

So why am I posting now? Because one of my callers in tonight dialed in by mistake and told us that he saw a faceless man in a suit outside trying to find a way in his house.... I think he must of hit the wrong number or something and got us instead, he had called in earlier today to dispute a bill but....

I heard him die... he was talking.... then he was screaming, and now he's dead too.....

And somehow, I think it all comes back to Ryan and I.... There closing the net on us now....


But they won't take us quietly....

Were going to make them bleed for this....