That Akward moment.....

So I'm breaking my self imposed silence... because we for the first time in a number of weeks we had a good laugh... It actually started when someone asked me a question about our trip to hope...

"So how did you get past the electric fence and wall"

To which I replied, to Anna who was reading as well... "What fence in wall"

Anna started cracking up right away... turned out she didn't have the heart to tell me this. but we actually had ended up in some burnt out shell of a some Basketball players summer home that burnt down a couple months back.....

Kinda undermined the lesson I was trying to instill....

Well that is all, just wanted to get that out of the way... so well... peace out until next time.

It's Time to Rest.....

So apparently it's a good thing we didn't stay in Texas....

Because Yet another person has decided that I've lived long enough and has opted that, well god damn it, it's just time for me to die... Hope he's patient... because it feels like I'm collecting people wanting me dead like most people collect baseball cards.

However unlike most of those people, this one could actually pull it off....

So well I'm taking the advice of others for once... and I'm going into seclusion for the time being... I'm not telling where, but for the sake if what Anna keeps telling me is good for my mental health, I need to do this....

I'm going into hiding, to mourn... I mean properly mourn... No more running... No more driving... No more fighting... I just found a nice place by the water... no people... no cars... barely good enough of a connection to post this.... and I'm going to mourn.....

For Maya....

For Antonio....

For Father....

For Sister....

For Mother.....

For Ryan.... Both of them....

For Manic... if he's really gone forever....

For my neighbors....

For Sara if she was real....

For my Wife and Son... even if they were never real....

For Zeke... for Elaine... and all of those runner I never had the chance....

For Anna... who really didn't deserve this...

For Coworkers who died having never knew why

For neighbors, even if I didn't care for them much....

And for all of us left behind now that there gone......

I don't know when I'll start driving again... I don't know how long I'll need... We got enough food and clean water for a few weeks... And some camping supplies... the car has a charger for our phones and my Tablet...

I just need some rest... for the first time in my life, I feel old... and that's not a good thing.

As of right now....

Anna is hereby mandated to not allow me access to the tablet while drunk....

That is all....

A little place called "Hope"

So... yeah...

I know it seems like I've been distant in recent blogs, writing like I'm observing what's happening rather than my feelings about it... I do spend allot of time writing about shit that's happened...

I guess I'm documenting all of this, in case the worst happens someone can learn from all of this. Anna is okay today... she's been pretty freaked out the last few days of course... we really don't often travel with a destination in mind, just as long as were moving is fine for us... I know a few of you are asking why I haven't mentioned my family lately... Lets just say I'm not blogging everything that happens...

About a week ago... I learned my father and sister were killed in a freak fire at the restaurant... I truly can not go home anymore.... I don't sleep... I don't have proof that they died because of me... but... well fuck it... my pain is not going to written up and put on display for everyone to see.

Dad... Kaitlyn... Antonio... Maya... And everyone else that died around me lately.... I shoulder the blame, even if it wasn't my hand that killed them....

It's hard to type.. the kid went to sleep early.. and sometimes I can't express my feelings well... this is one of those times....

Since February everyone I cared about, real or otherwise, has been taken from me... It was with this in mind that I decided I had to teach Anna probably the most important lesson I could teach her, and to do this, We having driving to Austin Texas for the last week or so...

We drove to the place once called "Hope". For those of you don't know about this place, Hope was once the a summer home, gifted to the now deceased runner Elaine. Honestly it was kinda like Antithesis, only for Runners It was supposed to be the perfect rest stop for Runners needing a place to be... yet today, we walked through the still burnt out shell of the place... walked amongst the ruins...

Anna asked me what happened as I sat down in there, took a drink from the flask I stared caring on me, shit can you blame me for needing a drink now and then? Helps the Stimulants I'm taking go down better, I told her the truth, this place, was a place for hope for Runners... sure the person who set it up was an idiot... but there were good intentions here....

She asked me how it ended... I told her the one mistake Elaine had made... She trusted a Proxy... A servant of the Slenderman to keep the place safe, she made a deal with the same assholes hunting us, and she broke the deal...

"As you can see kiddo... This was the result... Allot of good people were killed by the Slenderman and his servants.... We don't make deals with them... this is the only way it can end"

Anna sure gave me a stern look wanting me to explain Lucia and Ryan. What the fuck was there to say... yeah they made a great couple, and on many levels, I considered her Ryan to be the exception to the rule, d I wished nothing but the best for Lucia... but her boyfriend made a living by killing Runners, when a blog stopped suddenly, there was a good change someone like him was why.

Hey you guys wanted me to open up with my emotions, to get it out of my system? Your going to read it as I see it, I don't give a fuck how much I had to drink tonight... fuckers like them killed Maya... they killed Antonio... They try to kill Anna and I on a pretty regular basis...

You guys want me to stop seeing this as a fucking war, to realize that there are not different sides to this? well lets do a comparison between war and our situation... We have a clear enemy who would kill us in a heartbeat, kill us because there leader tells them to kill us, we see our friends die daily, we fight, or we die... just because we don't have a fucking flag and a little boy with some drums, doesn't mean this isn't a war.

I know this now more than ever to be the truth...

Hey I'm sorry, not all of us have working relationships with them, not all of us can get away with working "Fosters home for Brutal Violent Slenderman Powered Murderers".

Anna's pissed, wants me ease off the drink... hey this is the first time in days we didn't have to get up and drive first thing in the morning... I'm having a fucking drink tonight.... what about Antonio? Wasn't he a proxy she says? He choose to betray them for us, as far as I'm concerned, he was a runner with some tricks...

Proxies Killed Maya....
Proxies Killed Antonio ....

Proxies killed "Hope".....

And I sure as fuck didn't ask for any of it, I'm sure Anna didn't either, I didn't want to bury every friend and living family member I had left, before I turned 31.... Do you fucks thinks I wanted to end up a fucking half-dead freak? Wanted my fucking eye gouged out? Wanted this fucking Bokken? I sure as fuck didn't... I wanted none of this.. I wanted a normal life... Just Maya... and Me....

I don't get to fucking have that now, so excuse me if I get in the Habit of killing the type of people responsible, and for teaching others how to kill them... Sane was right, I needed to stop blaming myself... I needed to start blaming them..........

**********************************

This is Anna... he just tossed me the tablet and went off into the dark.. away from camp.... I guess he wants me to wrap this blog post up... he's really not himself tonight... sorry if he offended anyone but he just learned his family died a few days ago... and well I don't know how much more of this he's going to be able to withstand

I'm learning to fight, but I know at times like this I keep him alive... He's honestly self destructive, but he won't die and leave me alone...

Don't be to harsh on him... He's all I have left, and I'm all he has left... we really do take care of each other the best we can... he did admit to me that the day he found me... he had plans on killing himself in those woods if the Slenderman didn't find him... He saved me life and I'm saving his everyday... but hell lets face facts, in the short time I've known him, he's been a better "dad" to me than my real "father"... anyone who gives Paul shit has to deal with me too now.

We Are Being Hunted Without Mercy

Now that I have your attention lets set up the scene...

It was about two days ago.. Anna and I were watching some bull shit on Tv, when someone kicks the door off the hotel room floor hard enough that it went through the back wall, strangely intact... and he says one thing,


"FATHER REQUESTS THAT YOU DIE!!!!"


And then we both notice the flamethrower... Because yeah, no one in this backwater shit hole thought it was weird that someone was walking around the hotel with a WW2 style flamethrower...  So I toss her in the tub and throw a bed in front of me just before he lets loose hell and sets half the fucking room on fire, we know we can't beat this guy in this tight of a spot, not with that hellish thing strapped to him... Anna was faster on her feet than me, and went out the hole in the back of the wall, and to be fair, for falling about 20 feet landed well, only a few small scrapes.


I land after her and roll to put my coat out as it caught a bit of flame as I went out the window....


The crazy fucker, wearing about 60 lbs of napalm on his back actually jumped out after us, I had my Bokken our by the point, and Anna and ducked behind a parked car... To say it was tricky getting in close to the asshole was putting it mildly, I just couldn't close distance before the flames drove us back.... I thought we were truly and properly fucked....


The Bokken disagreed... I felt that tingling in my arm... it was growing into me again... feeding my limbs with strength... but I still don't know at what cost... I felt myself slip slightly out of control and more into instinct... I leaped, must of been about 12 feet in a single bound, right into striking range, and with one swing,  the Proxies arm came off... I mean the whole fucking thing tore off him at the shoulder... I know it's not possible for blunt for trauma from a normal person to inflict this kind of damage, unless it was strapped to a fucking train..... The second swing, even less under my control went for the head... It fucking exploded off of him....


We had to leave right there and then... I tore the bokken out of my arm again... and yeah it hurt just as much as it did last time... I looted a sawed off shotgun and some shells... 12 gauge slug rounds... and a few flechete rounds which, are restricted in several states, and are holy shit expensive, about $20.00 for a 3 pack, and this guy and about 20 shells of these. to put this in perspective, about a 12 slug rounds cost about $15.00 or so....


Anyways, I took the gun, I wasn't getting caught off guard like that again by a ranged combatant... Anna was honestly in shock.. I didn't realize how much blood was on me while I dragged her to the car.... we got the fuck out of there....


So it's been a couple days... were not on the wanted pages, but Anna decided it's not safe for us to stay in once place for long... the Slenderman seems to want me dead, but doesn't want to do it himself for some reason...

Crash course

Man this kid cracks me up sometimes....

I decided that the kid is going to need some serious combat training after a couple days ago when I woke her help by flipping her bed screaming "ATTACK ME DAMMIT" at the top of my lungs....

And she freaked out and flailed at me about as well as I expected a 15 year old too... which is to say... yeah this kid needs to learn allot, like from the ground up...

When we were not on the road, I've been training her to fight, Just a few things at the time... Starting at the basics, how to throw a punch, she picked up that quickly, at least I don't have to worry her about breaking her thumbs now, though I don't think she's getting behind the part where I started having punching into sandbags to harder up her knuckles quite yet. She's getting good at evading attacks as well. That is unless I stop pulling my speed and toss a full speed punch at her to keep her alert... I know I'm being hard on her, but she *will* die if I don't toughen her up...

I also started teaching her the bare basics of Akido and Kendo, which I'm more or less instructor level in both. for now, she's mostly working on foot movements, and forward rolling in Akido, and as for Kendo, I'm teaching her basic Kata's right now, and the 8 basic swings. Were both using Shinai's, also known as those Bamboo swords you see in anime, great for training, because they don't hurt, we don't have armor, but hell I didn't study with armor either, and pain is a great way to teaching someone to dodge or parry.

Meditation and breathing exercises are also going well, she's understanding quickly the importance of keeping calm and your allowing yourself to clear her head during training, to basically not over think it..

She calls it "channeling her inner airhead" Hey whatever works... Whiles we drive, she reads blogs, absorbs information about the threat were fleeing from, learning everything she can, EverymanHybrid, the Tutorial, learning about the big names, Elaine, Zeke, Dr Cairo, Noah...

Hell she's even learning from Gargoyle and Sane's blogs.... and with all due respect, there fucking crazy nuts... in a good way.

But she also read my blog... she had quite a few questions about me after that...  She asked a few questions I really wasan't ready to answer yet.

A:Does your family know what's going on?
P:No it's for the best there not part of this.
A:So was Ryan really your brother?
P:Yeah the Slenderman confirmed that truth.
A:Do you blame yourself for all those deaths that Ryan caused
P: ....... No comment.......
A:Do you blame your self for Maya and Antonio
P:Change the subject.........
A:It wasn't your fault Pa-
P:CHANGE THE FUCKING SUBJECT!!!!

I didn't handle it well obviously......

Right now were both on the roof of the Hotel were staying at, our stuff is in the car, the sky is clear, and were barely need the blankets here, She's meditating under the moonlight, and to be honest, she actually is starting to look the part of the runner, her bruises are mostly gone, and she now has a short sword of her own, I leaning against a wall, typing this out on a blue-tooth keyboard I managed to get a hold of for the Tablet.

Would I be alive right now if I didn't have her to protect? That's the one question I didn't have a problem answering...

"No Anna... I don't believe I would be"

"Well Batman, I guess I better not pull a Tim Drake on you then"

"Didn't they retcon his death?"

"You can't retcon real life Paul"

"No.. no you can't......"

About Lucia and Ryan.

Not to us this time... This time it happened to a friend of mine, someone who had been great to Antonio and Maya while I was off in Sanctuary.... Tripling on that sweet revenge kick...

Lucia's soon to be husband Ryan is dead.....

Some Muttmen, from what I had gathered was basically some kind of Proxy for the Rake... killed him...

Shit I'm resisting the urge to go back and kill them, were only maybe a hundred or so miles away at this point, at small town called Moundsville... they had a cheep hotel in the area, and a great place for the two of us to plan our next move...


Because I'm not going to drive around the Midwest like some dumb ass and waste a metric shit ton of gas in the process.

Anna, the little dork that she is, actually suggested we go to New England, because hell lets drive up to the neck of the woods where you know, the Cthulhu Mythos is based out of... that's a great idea!

Anyways she's sitting in her bed (Yes I paid for two beds in this room) asking why I'm being quiet... I mean it's great to have a company on my strange journey... but how do I explain that a friend and ally that I actually never met is dead... and that I'm upset about this...

I'm upset because it's a reminder what could happen to all of us... I'm upset because I already lost two friends this week that I only mentioned when she asked who the bloody coat belonged to...I'm upset because this poor girl probably won't live to see 18 if she keeps traveling with me..

Loosing friends I figure, brings out these kinda thoughts in people... I'm going to end this post on that, I'm going to make the kid sleep, and I'm probably going to read a book... I don't sleep anymore if I can help it.....


Bad dreams........

Given a choice

So the girl and I had a talk after she woke up, Sane had dropped the idea that if she was interested in getting "Out" of this before she ever became "In" this shit storm we all collectively live in, that he could alter her memories of the last day so she could just go home and live a normal life. Well I had actually recorded, with consent, our conversation so I could notate it later, picture if you will the two of us in a wooded clearing near another of Pittsburgh's parks.


P: Look kid you just had one hell of a rude awaking, in one morning you just learned that monsters are real, and that magic exists on this world, a really horrible thing that no one so far in all of human history has been able to find a way to beat, but you also learned that there is potential in man to become something both greater and worse than it self... one of my associates is offering to help you forget this if you choose

A: You mean like brainwashing?

P: Well.. I won't lie that's about the jist of it yes, but you'll forget this ever happened, you'll be able to go home again, the creature that attacked you won't find you again if you forget about him...

A: What happens if I choose to remember today?

P: You end up like me, hell you end up like hundreds of other people, constantly on the run, fleeing from both the creature, or it's very human minions, you might learn to fight back, but most of us die in pretty horrible ways...Maybe you'll help try to figure it out via experiments, maybe you'll go mad while doing so and loose a piece of your self, maybe you'll end up surrendering yourself to it.  Or maybe You will find yourself sheltering it's servants... Or  maybe you will die protecting those you care about most.... It's honestly not a plesent life you would be setting yourself up for, and to be honest, if someone have given me the choice back then, I would have taken it.

A: I'll keep my memories....

P: What? Kid were you just listening to what I said? This life is terrible, we live in fear every god damn day, I lost an eye to this thing already, I also lost my home, my life, this shit striped me of everything I cared about.... Everything.... What could you possibly find worse that all of this that make you want to stay apart of it?

Anna lifts takes off her coat, revealing dark bruises on her arms, especially telling were the ones on her wrists... She was being abused by someone? A boyfriend? a parent?

P: those look pretty severe kiddo, who's doing this to you?

She looks to the side... under her hair is a bruise like a bite.... my skin crawls...

A: It doesn't matter, I can't go back to that life... not when I know I can escape from it....

I lean back against the tree I'm sitting by and look up at the branches... I can't force her to go back somewhere she doesn't want to be, but taking an untrained rookie with me, now that I just seriously pissed off the Slenderman?

Just after I already killed my friends?

P:  okay maybe I can find a Runner safe-house to drop you at then, I mean you can't come back here that's for sure, you'll just be putting others at risk and-

A: I'm going with you!

P:  Kid I'm not staying in town, to be fair, I'm not leaving newbie in town either, this are is practically ground zero for the creature's activities, there are more of it's minions per square miles here than almost anywhere else I know of.

A: Well touch shit old man, you saved my life, I'm your problem now! You can't just be all like Superman, save the day and fly off leaving us behind! Your Batman, and I'm Dick-Fucking-Grayson to you now! 

P: Okay, first off, who the hell is Dick Grayson, and second off, don't call me old man.... I mean don't you think it's going to, oh I don't know, roll up in a hotel with a girl half my fucking age?

A: Your a smart looking guy, figure it out... So when are we leaving?

I lost that argument right about the time she made started comparing me to a  superhero... yeah I figured the whole saving her life thing was a good thing, but in typical fashion I didn't think it through... I started off by handing her Maya's cellphone which was in the car, my number was already in it so if we became separated she could contact me, I also made it clear that she was going to have to learn quick, probably quicker than most since she was traveling with an established threat to the Slenderman and it's minions.

But were on our way out of town, destination unknown, I considered going back to Tacoma, but I think that would just be to risky right now....

He's pissed...

And by He, I mean the 11 foot tall faceless asshole that tried to kill me several times in the last couple hours....

Okay explanation time before he shows up again....

I was woken up kinda early today, about 7am, under the tree I feel asleep under by the sound of a young girl screaming... I sit up, stash my bag and look around, guess what I see?

I see the fucking Slenderman in the.... what ever the fuck he's made out of, arms outstretched, mentally controlling a girl who, after a lengthy running argument as to why she should be, should have been on her way to school at that point.

Because kids who skip school die horribly in the tentacled arms of the fucking Slenderman!

Well of course I can't take this sitting down, I get up, pull out the Black Bokken from my backpack and charge headlong into the fray, I mean people without freaky evil super sticks do this all the time, so hell lets do this...

the whole thing feels like it's in slow motion, I leap in the area and swat one of it's tentacles just as it was about to wrap around her chest, the tentacle recoiled back and boy... well lets say for something that didn't have facial features he really made me feel hated at that moment.

It's almost like... like it hurt, or what passes for hurt, but I'm not thinking at that point, I'm swinging away, striking tentacles back, standing between it and the girl, each tentacle recoils back with each hit. These anit love taps I hitting him with, each of these swings could break a person's skull open, or break an arm, and he's reacting like it stings.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, FUCKING RUN!!!" I scream at the kid pushing her as we run for it.

I felt a burning weight slam into my back as we turn, I push the kid to keep going while I back peddle striking back at it's tentacles... while this is happening I feel a curious tingle in my wrist, not painful, but a definite burning sensation.

Eventually it Retracted all it's tentacles and looked like it was about to hit me with something savage, I took this opportunity to grab the girl by the arm and run for it.

God... I'm going to have nightmares about the rest of this, he was behind every tree, around every corner swinging a tentacle at me. by this point that sensation was up to my elbow, my strikes felt like they had more force behind them, despite dragging the girl by one arm...

That went on like that for over an hour... we eventually found a spot to rest after he stopped his attack... I found myself unable to put down the Bokken during that first post, I had the girl type it for me on my tablet while I took watch... Then at the end of the alley we were sitting in I fucking see him, again! he just starts, like a god damn spider propelling itself down the Alley at us with it's tentacles, we make for the main road and round the corner just in time to dodge the freaking dumpster it tossed at us into the middle of the road...

The chase was on again, and we were getting to tired to run... I made a choice... I told her to keep running down the road while I waited for it to pass by again... when it passed me after all, I jumped out behind him and swatted it in the head...

And he vanished like smoke...  I caught up with the girl... we found a wide open park to sit after stashing my Bokken again... Oh yeah that bears mentioning, at the end the burning feeling in my arm was almost to my shoulder, let me explain why..

Because the fucking thing was growing roots into my arm! the second I let go, they tore out of me... Violently... there was allot of blood, but where I expected my arm to be shredded... there were no wounds or scars... that was... interesting...

So as I type this up, I'm explaining again why her education is important and that she really shouldn't be skipping class, I mean it's not like Summer Vacation isn't a few weeks out... But hey she's not listening, probably due to the shock of it all... At least I got a name out of her. Her name is Anna, and I was wrong, she's 15... not that it maters.

Wow.. I just realized she has no idea what the hell is going on, and I get to crash course her in the supernatural... Awesome.....

ShitShitShitShitShitSHIIIIIIIIIIIIT

Okay So in my typical patented fashion... I did two things that are as most would describe as brain-numbingly stupid...

I didn't take the advice of the people leaving comments on my blog....

And I just smacked the ever loving shit out of the Slenderman with a stick, that may very well be made out of pure evil... Yeah on a scale of one to ten on how stupid that was in hindsight... I'm going to say about 13....

Okay I had a reason for this... and it now leads to why I have a 14 year old girl hiding out in the same allyway as... FUCK HES BACK BRB!!!

Shit out of friends

I spent the last night waiting for an attack that never came, I suppose I should be pleased by this, but lets face facts... a big part of me was hoping for an ending....

I guess I need to keep waiting... the only thing living I encountered last night was a transient, and his only reaction was to freak out and run... I guess I have that effect on people...

So I went digging... just digging....

Sorry if this post seems a bit dull, I mean I haven't had any sleep in days... I can't sleep, I have to keep Vigil in case a proxy attacks, or if Maya and Antonio show up hurt, and they need my help... I've always been a heavy sleeper, so I guess I don't want to sleep right now and miss something important.

Well the transient's stash of random uppers and caffeine pills have been helping me stay awake. I guess the other reason I don't want to sleep is every time I close my eye... I think of the possibilities.... I see images... there lifeless bodies, tortured... violated...

Or even worse... I see that they died, and the last thing of me they saw was me getting out of the warehouse before they could... that the last thing they see was me run....

I guess this is a pretty nasty case of survivor's guilt... topped off with a helping of remorse for ever getting them involved....

I guess I know there not coming back now.. I found... a few things in there... Maya's coat... splattered with blood... Antonio's Watch... shattered, the time frozen at the point where the explosion hit..... No body... probably won't find one.. that warehouse was a couple stories... and if they were taken from there, then they were killed...

Antonio didn't get out of there, he didn't teleport himself and Maya out... or they would have contacted me by now...

So here I am, an enemy of the Slenderman, Alone in his stronghold, Proxy-town USA... with a few trinkets reminding myself as to what I lost to this god-forsaken city...

I'm going to the park now... I figure somewhere where his prey, and a bunch of tree's is a great place to spend some quiet time to think things over.

Fuck it all...

Tomorrow is going to be five days since Maya Antonio and I went to war.....

Tomorrow is going to be five days since I came out alone from that war....

I've been holding out in Pittsburgh watching news reports of the explosion and lurking from a distance watching them remove the rubble... so far they have only pulled one on body.. I recognized it as Ryan.... They haven't pulled anyone else out yet...  No one has come out of there alive in 5 days.....

I mean this is how I'm spending my days... sitting... watching people clear out the debris... praying for their bodies to be pulled from the ruins... Alive or dead...

Because at that point at least I'll know if there okay...

I'm going to stay, until every last scrap of building is cleared... and when the work crews retire for the night, I'll go in and dig myself.... Because I let them down.. I could of dragged them to the Sanctuary.. or used my increased strength to carry them out or....

Anything but run blindly for the exit...

God damn it all... I really fucking failed hard.... I mean even if I sedated them like I had planed.. maybe it would have worked out in the end.... I haven't seen the inside of the Hotell in a few days.. been sleeping under the stars.. near the warehouse... I don't plan on leaving... not to eat... not to drink... if I die on this roof... then so be it...

Actually, lets follow this one step forward... Hey proxy fucks! Here's where I am! You know I killed one of your own! I won't run! COME FUCKING GET SOME.... YOU WANT ME DEAD? THEN FUCKING BRING IT ON!!!!!

Hey I see your boss watching me, why don't you come show off for him! We'll have a party on the roof! and see how many of you it takes to finally bring me down!

Not Dead After All

Paul here... taking up my writing position for the time being again....

Here's a lesson to other bloggers... don't forget to deleted a pending post if you didn't decide to go through with it... I didn't sedate Maya or Antonio... I let them come with me in the end....

That was a mistake.....


The whole affair was brutal as shit... spYder was held up in a warehouse, one of those abandoned kinds you know? We get the drop on them, crashing a "Borrowed Van" Through there front doors. We flood out and start the attack right away...

I went for Ryan, who had as some point purchased a broadsword... he wasn't bad with it either, I had to go on the defensive almost straight away... his swings were skilled, but sloppy... his strikes had allot of strength behind the.... I almost died several times and got a few light cuts during the fight.

Antonio stood there in a bright circle... and took on the Shadowman, every time the shadow would come out to strike Antonio would be ready to strike back... I would have him explain but.....

I'll get back to that... Maya took on the Sledgehammer girl, which I learned was a woman named Sara... He where did I here that name before... oh yeah... Ryan's "Missing girlfriend".... Asshole... She did an amazing job against her, really used her speed to avoid her wide swings with the sledge... the problem was, us males would be slowly creeping in her direction.... towards her voice... lowering our guard just enough to get cheep shots in from our attackers... I'm pretty glad Maya was keeping her tied up so she couldn't use that voice to lull us into a quick death...

I was so focused on taking out Ryan once and for all, that I didn't see when the others won there fight... while I was barely able to keep pace with Ryan... I mean crap I'm a walking dead... I have super powers but I could keep pace with him... then I thought about it.... He had said something before the fight

"Hey Paul look what I got, remember our boffering days? This should be interesting right?"

I was being brainwashed... Shit that had to be it.. it said something to convince me he was me equal in a sword fight... the second I realized it, his sloppy swings, his half arsed evasions... that was why, he wasn't better than me, my mind was making me weaker... knowing this... suddenly he stopped being hard, I was on the offense and frankly kicking his ass... with one swing I broke his arm, a second swing took out his knee...

The last swing shattered his skull... and killed him outright....

Just before he died he started smiling... he had one last trap for us...

Sure enough right as he died... we started hearing pops... explosions... beeps... he had the whole building on a fucking deadman's switch.....

I got out of the building... I didn't see Maya or Antonio outside with me.... I spent as long as I could digging around inside the wreckage before the police and fire sirens started howling in the distance... I made my escape at that point....

I don't know if there alive or dead... but I'm sitting in this Hotell room alone now... my rage spent... my Enemies dead... but I'm alone right now... I might of led my love and best friend to there deaths... If that's the case.. I'll never forgive myself for it...

Now I'm just waiting...

For Lucia and Sane

Look... I'm pretty bad at this sort of thing, more so since... well I died...

But I didn't get a chance to think either of you for watching after my friends after what happened... I guess I was to busy being a selfish asshole to take care of them myself, I guess maybe I forgot how to feel for a while...

Yeah by the time you read this.. I went to go pick a fight... without Maya and Antonio... Yeah I'm a jackass but I figure they'll be safe if they stay behind...  I'm still being selfish... I'm not going to this fight alone for there sake, I'm doing it for me... I want Ryan dead... and I already said it once.

"No one dies for me"

In the end, I brought them into this mess, I'm letting them out of it... If I make it back, I'm definitely hanging up the Bokken, I'm going to find a quiet place to put down roots, where no one knows any of us, and were just going to live in peace, until the time that I was told my life would end.... I'm going to forget about the Slenderman, about the Proxies... about this blog... I'm going to find a Job, try to start a family with Maya... and just forget about the whole god damn world until the time comes.

Right now there resting... they didn't know I spiked that last drink with a sleeping aid... and I got "?????" watching the place for me... yeah I know who he is... and that's a secret just for me alone who that is.

Sane... For what it's worth... I'm sorry about Manic... I didn't want the worst to happen to him... but hell, if I told him everything I remember from beyond the path... I doubt his mind you of survived it... Take care of Kat, what little time I spent talking to her, I could tell that she cared for Manic...

Manic told me that he thought my sword... this animal carved from what he called "The bleeding tree" could possibly hurt the Slenderman, well I don't know about that... But I know it can hurt a proxy.. which is good enough for me... It's too dangerous to use anyways... I feel like it's alive.....

Lucia... I wanted to thank you, Maya and Antonio said you really gave them hope in finding me alive and well... it really means allot to me that they had such a great friend in Pittsburgh, I mean that... You even took Antonio in while Maya was healing... I really hope it works out for you and Ryan... I want nothing but happiness for you... now and always.

Maya... I owe you more than I could owe anyone.. I love you so very much, even if I haven't shown it much the last few days... if I make it back, you better believe I'm going to make it up to you...

Antonio... Watch your back while your out there, if the Organization, is after you again... you'll need all the help you can get... and take care of Maya...

Well that's it from me... in a few hours this will post... long after anyone can talk me out of it... good luck to you all.

This is it....

A pile of rocks.....

That's what Stonehenge is to me, and I haven't a damn clue what Paul was hoping to find over there... he didn't explain to me at first what he went there for... but he came back with answers... chilling answers....

"Assuming I'm alive by then... I'm going to die again on the 12/21/12"

I looked at him like he was fucking daft... How can anyone say that with such certainly is beyond me at this point... but then he continued...

"But I'm going to do something, die for something, important beyond all of us"

Again he said this with such certainty, it was chilling... he didn't say why he felt this way, or what he encountered while he was out there... but he looked more "alive" than he had in the entire time he had been back with us.....

Well... if he's right... then were going to make the best we can in what time we have yet.... Once our business is done, were going to go get married.


.........................


Well in other news at least, Antonio came through again, he examined that... goop... that he had found at some of Paul's teleporting sites... and well... Paul's not leaving it behind... When Paul left for Stonehenge, he didn't leave any of it behind.

So Antonio figured something else was leaving it at the scene... and we got our answer...

It's because it was being left behind by spYder... Yeah... He was stalking Paul this whole time.....

Antonio thinks he has enough to tie it down to Ryan's psychic signature... with a few little gadgets he had picked up... we tracked him down to a location, we might be able to storm there hideout and take down all three of them at once, if were very very lucky.

Were not being stupid about this... We are actually about to head out to do the deed now... if any of us survives.. we should report back in a couple days... if this is our last post... then well... you know the rest of the story...

Best of luck to all of you... in case we don't see you again.

Botched Ambush

As a team, we work well together, if we could stay as a team all the time we should be okay..

I don't think that asshole with the sickles realized we were all in the hotel tonight, at least when he, shadow-teleported out of the closet, as best as we can tell, cold clocked Antonio and went for the kill on me, he didn't see Paul dash out of the bathroom, grab him with one hand, and slam him head first into the wall.

This happened about 30 minutes ago, so I think they thought they would catch us sleeping... They were wrong...

Then Paul demonstrated some of the strength of his, by lifting him up by his *face* with one arm and shoved him out the third story window... the only problem was, Paul went out the window with him... Antonio was quick to leap out after the pair... I.. well I personally opted for the elevator, I'm still not at 100 percent.

Paul and Antonio describe it best from here, Paul slammed the bastard into the roof of a car, and was honestly, well, Antonio seems to think Paul was trying to tear his face off or something before getting kicked off, Antonio jumped in and kicked the car in a way to roll it over with telekinesis, the proxy melted into the shadow formed by the car and barely avoided being crushed by it (Paul described that as being pretty badass)

The guy then tried to take out Antonio by leaping out of his shadow and stab him in the back with both Sickles.. he didn't mange to do so, Paul was on him fast.. like blink and you miss it fast, he started by punching him out of his swing, then reached into the guys outfit, and brought out that horrid Bokken... that evil thing Paul wields... He tried to bring it down in the Proxy's face  (Again with the face!) and only struck floor, so help me god it looked like the asphalt cracked a bit.

Then the guy steps out of the hotel Lobby, and bull-rush's Paul, Paul charges back and swings at the Proxy, who parries Paul's strike, with great effort, then ducks low swinging for Paul's legs, Paul leaps up over the swing, and uses the downward momentum to bring the Bokken down on the Proxy, who at this point, was, you guessed it in a shadow... he dropped out of sight, and didn't reemerge...

Meanwhile, I found out that spYder seems to have a second Henchmen, some little girl about my sized in go-go girl clothes swinging a sledge hammer at me the second I come out of the elevator, I barely got down below the attack, I sweep her legs out of her, and try to kick her in her the head, she rolls away from me avoiding my attack, I'm slower than normal, because of my wound.. and she tries to capitalize on it, thrusting the head of the Sledge at me, which I side step and counter with a kick to her ribs, which she just *tanks* her way through (I swear I felt something come loose) rather than defend, she swings the sledge hammer at me catching me, not with the head but the handle in the left shoulder, it was still enough to cause me to go down.

So I'm on the ground, and she tries to overhead smash me with that sledge, rather than roll out of the way, I give her with both feet in the stomach, ruining her momentum and causing her to tumble... her Shadowy cohort then runs in and grabs her, before making a hasty retreat just as the boys are coming in...

In the end, none of us are really hurt, just tired... it was a hard 15 minutes of fighting... and now to make things worse, Paul says he has to make a short trip... to god damn Stonehenge... how the fuck is that supposed to be short? Well he says he plans on going there via the Sanctuary, and he'll be back in a day or two...

He doesn't explain why either.. he just up's and leaves Antonio and myself hanging, I mean at this point I think we drove them off, but it makes no god damn sense... what the hell could possibly be there?

Antonio says that he also has to talk to me about something, but he won't say what that is... Ugh.. were great as a team, but we need to work on our teamwork I say.

Back in the real world

So it's been a while since I've posted, sorry to keep everyone worried about me.

It's Maya by the way, I'm back from my temporary stop in the worlds worst out-patient center.

Nothing against Paul, my stomach feels like he actually made my wound worse somehow... even if it's fully stitched up like a professional did it... That raises questions really. I guess I can't stay mad at him for what happened.. I mean I kinda get it now, why he's doing what he's doing.

I've seen what the Sanctuary is, and I'm being told it's okay to spill the beans on what I know about it.

I woke up about a day or two ago, I was out for... shit days now.. Paul was sitting in his reading chair thumbing through some E-book on his tablet, when he noticed I was up he set the tablet down and just looked at me through his one good eye, he wasn't wearing the bandages at the time, I could see the scar where his eye was, his arm was still slinged but he was able to hold the tablet in his arm, which was impressive considering his arm was broken a few days before.

"I'm glad to see you awake hon..." He says, not smiling.

I had a hard time replying, he felt... just so frankly unreal, I know Manic had posted about how... freaky and unreal he seems, but experiencing it was something different.

"Yeah.. I... Ow..." I winced... I guess I was still recovering

"You still need to rest Maya, that weapon almost went clean through you, we barely got you put back together"

"Who's we?"

"Don't worry about it."

I didn't push at that one, Paul must of had access to someone with some medical skills needed to fix me up.

"Paul.... Where are we?" At this point, the layout of the room was the exact same as the layout of his apartment, down to the finest details, but looking out the window I only saw a sort of mist, like a perpetual grey fog that stretched out as far as I could see, no end in sight.

"This is my Sanctuary. My resting place when I'm not out in the real world, where we are at, is basically side-steeped between Planes of existence, in the mist between worlds... I guess a good way of explaining it is the Astral Plane, though I'm not sure that fits. I know here's safe, here my needs are met, I can rest, and rejuvenate, for my trips to the real world, so I can get what I want from there"

"You mean like revenge? I mean that's why you ended up in Pittsburgh right? because of Ryan?"

Paul smiles and sits by me in bed  "Actually, I wanted to go somewhere safe when I left the path, yes I wanted revenge, I wanted it so bad that I actually ached for it in my very soul... but at that point, I wanted to be safe.. and here I am, I'm outside of our own world, I'm beyond even the Slenderman's reach, a tiny world, created by my own will alone"

"That just happens to look like your apartment"

"Well I did feel comfortable there" He half smiles and hands me a bottled water

"Paul this place isn't real, this isn't your real apartment, this is a mock up, a set, like some kind of stage play, you may feel safe here, and I do too, but Antonio's still out there, and he's alone now, we need to go back there and find him, bring him here, regroup and decide how were going to stop Ryan and-" Paul cuts me off sighing

 "Maya, here we don't have to worry about it, not right now, I wish I could bring Antonio here, but he's a proxy, he's far to tied to the Slenderman to live here, hell my weapon can't even be here because, this place is Antithesis to the weapon, and Proxies as well" He stands up and paces back and forth waiving his good arm about. "Besides why the hell should I go back there except to kill Ryan, that world *Killed* me, I *Died* in that world... at this point the whole damn world can go to hell as long as I can keep the two of us safe"

I pulled myself to my feet, and slaped Paul hard "Fuck you Paul!, Fuck you! Antonio is our friend, and what of Lucia, and Manic, I will *Not* Abandon the two of them, or anyone we know, to stay in this... Dollhouse you made for yourself."

I give him the sternest look I can muster grabbing my guts in extreme pain "Send me back... you can have your so called 'Sanctuary', I'll take the real world any fucking day of the week"

Paul guides me back to bed, and gets me comfortable, I can tell he's deeply hurt... he just says one more thing that day, before he steps out... I later find out this was to talk to Manic... I guess now that I'm caught up that Manic explained how tired and worn out he was, I guess I know why, I mean he must not have slept at all while watching over me.

He got back a few hours later, he sat back down in the chair, I pretended to be sleeping at this point, I just didn't want to deal with his selfish ass, I felt like a prisoner at this point... I was wrong of course...

All he did was sit back down in the chair and started reading that book again... A while later I fell back to asleep

***************************************

I woke up the "Next" day, to a scream, Paul had fallen asleep at some point, and he apparently didn't have a great dream... I woke up, looking around Paul was no longer in the room... I got up. much easier this time, my wound healed a shocking amount over night, and found splashing water on his face in the bathroom... his arm was out of the sling, he noticed me in the mirror... with his one eye and he just said one thing...

"Bad dreams...."

I just nodded and went to the kitchen to get something to eat.. I was pretty damn hungry by that point...

Paul joined me later and sat down... he had severe bags under his eyes and I could tell he only went to sleep, not because he wanted too, but probably because his body forced the issue...

"I thought about what you said last night Maya" He looked at my sternly "Maybe I do need to spend more time out there, Ryan won't kill himself while I hide in here... I need you to rest one more day, then I'll send you back,  and this time.... I'll be there as well..."

I smile at him, even if he still creeps me the fuck out with that "I'm real but not real" shit about him.

"Okay Paul, we'll do this together... the three of us, we'll beat Ryan.... together"

***************************************

Paul is behind me, his arm heals unnaturally fast, though his eye is not healing at all, he told me it was the price he paid for being able to do what he can now do, I'm just about to call Antonio... were getting the team back together... and maybe.... Just maybe, we'll win this fight. I know Lucia sent me the invite to crash over at Antithesis, although Paul seems inclined to pass on it, something about how he has no place there.... I'm tempted to take her up on it, even if I'm not a proxy....

Body of Evidence.

Antonio here, now that I'm set up in Antithesis I went ahead and investigated the hospital that Paul has visited the night before looking for supplies, it was not particularly easy to get past police and security, I managed to do it without violence. I guess I was inspired by Manic's talk with Paul earlier today, I do believe Paul didn't tell the whole story to Manic, I believe he knows more than he's telling anyone.

One does not walk the path uninvited, one must feel the touch of Slenderman to even withstand it.

The area was still cordoned off and no cleaning had been done, someone people murmured about it being arson... of course it was because a medical storage closet just spontaneously catches fire like that...

Some people are stupid is all I'm saying,, I searched for some clues... the most important thing I found was more of the residue that I mentioned previously... the greyish slick residue that seems to be left after paul goes to the place we now know as the Sanctuary... It was a start... if only that's all that happened... it happened suddenly..

"Hoody, what the hell are you doing here?" said a voice from behind me...


I knew the voice, one of the proxies I had been working with this time last year, Vergil

"Vergil, it's been a while, how's the leg?" I smile

The proxy smiles back, we were always so polite to each other even after Paul and Maya liberated me from the Slenderman's service.I did some questionable things to Runners, and on my way out of HIS service, I did more questionable things to Proxies...

"Well the leg is fine now that you mention it, you almost couldn't tell that someone took a wood splitter to it 7 months ago." He says still smiling, still polite

"Well next time I'll just have to swing harder, I don't suppose your going to let me walk out of here are you?"

"I wasn't planing on it....."

"Well then, catch me if you can" With that I went out the nearest window, dropped about 15 feet and landed on the roof of an adjacent building, I heard the soft thud of him landing behind me, he got a bit faster, but not fast enough

He chased me on for about 4 or 5 blocks till I ducked into a parking garage, the idea was to give him the slip, that didn't pan out, he was still tailing me, but at least we wouldn't be interrupted, I turned and swing high, throwing my Kinetic power behind it, he ducked under it and tried to sweep my legs out from under me, I hoped back, and the real fight began.

We would both throw our best martial art maneuvers at each other, roundhouse kicks, joint-locks, attack each others pressure points, neither of us could land a hit on the other, I even cheated and collapsed part of the floor under him intentionally, to bad there was a nice car underneath it.

He lost balance from it, or at least I thought he did, I went ahead and tried to exploit it, but he caught my punch and slugged me hard in the chest, I flew back, and stopped, he still had hold of me, he tossed me into a pillar and started working my kidneys and lower abdomen, but, he got careless.

I had my back to the wall, getting hammered mostly in my arms, I then let out a shout of Telekinetic force that made him lean back, see video games do teach you something.

Then I ripped a part of the wall off and broke it over his face, and he went down... hard.

While he laid there, I could have finished it, I had a rebar spike in my hand still, I could of drove it into his skull and killed him. I settled for driving it into his shoulder pinning him to the ground, it was a quick fix at best, he could get himself out of it, but he was stunned and howling in pain... I made good my escape...

Now I have enough of a sample to get a proper examination done on it, I won't turn to Manic, his motivation for wanting to get close to us is at question, So I'm keeping the sample refrigerated for now, hopefully someone will get the hint from the skull I drew on the Jar I'm keeping it in and not try to eat it... we'll see.

Because If I can learn what it is, I can use it to find this so called sanctuary...

Oh and Vergil? Do me a favor, read that note I left next to you, and tell your bosses Hoody is dead... My name, is Antonio, and I will not return to the Organization.

Sanctuary

So I guess Antonio is taking care of himself for now, that's good...

Okay you get two guesses who this is, the first two don't count, and for the record, I don't like surfacing like this to post, where I'm staying is a hell of a lot safer than this, not to mention I don't like leaving my mortally wounded girlfriend laying in a bed back there on what I hope to hell is enough painkillers to keep her sedated for now.

I surfaced because the dumb-asses went and made them targets, and I was hoping to draw them out, take the three of them, and yes there are three of them. Ryan, and two others, I would of done this a few nights ago if some fucking dipshit Runner got the idea that I was the enemy and attacked me in the ally way I was baiting them in to.

I guess I have that effect on people now, funny what a few nights in a place two steps from hell will do to you metaphysically..

But no, she had to go and get her self semi gutted, and now I'm breaking into a hospital to steal as much medical supplies as I can fit in my rather large backpack, painkillers, bandages, sutures, antibiotics.

Because she's not dying for me... No one is....

And before you get pissy at me about the runner, he was collateral damage, he struck first, I struck last, it could have gone so very differently if the Kid wasn't pissing himself that I had just pulled my new Bokken out a trash dumpster. Fear made him charge when he should have ran and not looked back. He was my first kill... I thought it would be harder than it was.

He was in my way, a step between me and my enemies, my soon to be victims.... But you know, by the time I post this, I'll be halfway back to my sanctuary, safe and sound and treating Maya, and since she's not bleeding at the moment, let me tell you all a story. I guess it's been a few weeks now since I died, so let me tell you how it went down, Maya already told her side of this, but she missed the chat I had with Ryan..

So there I am, battered, having just beaten several Proxies into submission, I'm on the roof of my Apartment building, standing off with Ryan, and he did the usual "Join me, kill the girl, and we can walk away from here" Speech...

I tell him of course to go fuck himself, because I love the girl, even if she's a bloody idiot sometimes, then he lays it on me, I have this part of the conversation seared into my head, I see his face from my blind eye when he says this, and the only way to get his smug face out of my vision is to kill him.

Ryan: "Come on Paul, we already know how this is going to end, your tired from beating my men up, you can't beat me in a fight right now, at least if you kill her you'll know it'll be as painless... or painful as you want it to be"

Me: "Go to hell Ryan, I trusted you, and you were planting memories in my head? FUCK YOU, I'LL KILL YOU BEFORE I JOIN YOU"

Ryan: "Is that anyway to talk to your brother?... Get that look off your face, of course you didn't know, I mean how the fuck would you, our father doesn't even remember me anymore thanks to the boss"

Me: "Wha... W.. No.. fuck that, that's not possible, Thats not fucking possible!"

Ryan: "Did you really think I invented the idea of missing family members being erased from memory? No.. I just took inspiration, I mean I remember the day I walked into your work, and with my words, convinced everyone I worked there on your team, sat down next to you, and over the course of a few minutes, had talked your entire memory into your head, I wanted you to be part of my life brother, and I wanted you to be on my team as well"

The rage was boiling, if this was true, then he had tried to brainwash me into killing my lover and my friend, so I would join up with him... he would do this to his own brother? Then he says four fucking words, and my whole world came undone in front of me

"Remember the truth now"

Then in one screaming moment, all the false memories were torn from my head, only the echo's remain, only the fleeting images of the family I had so deeply held to my chest, were gone... the only thing was left was clarity... and rage.... the rage that would carry me on up till this point.

So we fight, at one point he jam's his thumb into my eye socket, and I feel every moment of it, I scream in pain as he crushes my eye with his finger.. I remember blacking out for a second, then I snap back to reality, and my pocket knife is covered in blood and Ryan is holding his side.

Maya is still blacking in and out at this point, Ryan kicks me in the side, and I feel allot of something give, and he tells me "Our reunion is going to be cut short, I called the boss in to deal with you, he has plans for you... Brother"

The rest is history... I lied to Manic, I lied to Maya, I sacrificed myself to the slender-man so they could escape, and I had hoped, been free from this fucking mess....

I'd tell you what happened on the path... but you know what.. I deserve to keep my secrets as mine, none of you would understand what happened, and why I made the choice I did... I'll say this

The secret is in the blood... My blood... and Ryan's blood....

So it's time I got back, I got my work cut out for me, I don't know if my Sanctuary alone will be strong enough to help Maya recover, and I'm not exactly a doctor... so wish her luck...

Just gotta light a match... and boom... no more evidence that I was here... I'm sure the sprinklers here will contain it.

We lost Maya...

This is Antonio, and the title should speak for itself...

After Maya woke up she went off on her own, she was, quite pissed at me and demanded we split up for the day yesterday, I had gone on recon near certain known Proxy Den's in search of clues to where Paul, or spYder, may be staying...

I came up empty, my mid evening, I got a phone call from Maya, she had stated she saw who she thought was Paul coming out of a clothing store near downtown and was going to confront him, I had urged caution as I was at least 30 minutes away from her by foot...

I know now she didn't listen to me. By the time I got there the police were swarming the area, there had been a confrontation, I won't lie that at first I had feared that Paul had struck out and murdered her. The truth was not much better.

Eye witness state, verbatim, that, A small skinny blonde girl started to chase after a man in a sling with some bandages over one eye, the man had reportedly stopped and started to loudly tell the young woman to back away from him, that it wasn't safe to be near him, Eye witnesses describe, an extreme apprehension and disquieting feeling from the man, almost like something about him felt as one witness put it "Unreal, almost like he wasn't really there at all"

After what I've gathered was only a couple minutes, A store front window shatters and a man, in all black wearing a raven mask, and a pair of farming sickles, leaps through it an attacks the Man and the Woman.  The man, pulls from his long coat, what I determined to be a Bokken made out of a strange black wood, likely painted wood, and started to fight the attacker one handed.

This is where this goes wrong...

The young woman, attempted to aid the Man, with a flurry of kicks and knife slashes, but she was clocked in the side of the head, and was.... Impaled through the stomach... by one of the attackers Sickles... The man, seemingly snapped and with one swing, sent the attacker flying into an ally way, he then thew the Black Bokken out of sight, grabbed the girl, and ran into an ally way, where the eye witnesses loose sight of them...

I should have been there... if I had....

No... I must not dwell on this, information is power right now... I compiled some observations from eye witness accounts that leaves a few inconsistencies.

The owner of the store where the attacker exited from, at no point saw anyone in his store, he did not see this likely Proxy enter the building.

Witnesses state that Paul had actually bought the coat he was wearing in the store, and none of the clerks saw this Black Bokken he was wearing, they did not he was wearing what they thought was some kind of Native American charm on his neck, possibly the same charm he had originally attached to his Bokken...

Paul would not have made it far carrying Maya with one arm, if his other arm is still broken then he would have been caught, Maya was reportedly bleeding severely, but my attempts to follow the blood trail end suddenly, it's worth nothing I spotted... I want to say a clearish-grey residue near where the trail stopped. I scraped up as much of it as I can and i'm going to seek someone with Paranormal education to examine it.

The Black Bokken, is in itself most disturbing, something about the idea of it... is unsettling, where would Paul have found the time to purchase something like that, many Martial arts supply shops in the area do not recall a man fitting Paul's description entering and buying a Bokken...nor do most of them sell them with a black paint or lacquer job on them. It's worth noting that despite the Witnesses stating they saw him toss it under a parked car, the Bokken it self has seemingly gone missing....

That's all I know for now, with just me left, possibly alive, I'm going underground, it may be a few days before I surface to post, I am after all, in the proxy capital of North America with a price on my with a death mark on my head...

Antonio signing off, I'll check from the tablet for comments and e-mails if anyone knows anything.